


Let Me Help You

by kxkeru



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Another Story (Mystic Messenger), Childhood Friends, Confessions, Does Jumin Han Is Gay?, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Mentioned RFA (Mystic Messenger), Mentioned Rika (Mystic Messenger), Reunions, V | Kim Jihyun Deserved Better, V | Kim Jihyun's Route
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:00:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29046525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kxkeru/pseuds/kxkeru
Summary: Jumin Han sits alone in his million-dollar penthouse missing and yearning for his childhood friend, Jihyun Kim. Completely alone, Jumin is left to drink away his guilt and longing until the man he so desperately wants to see comes through the door.
Relationships: Han Jumin & V | Kim Jihyun, Han Jumin/V | Kim Jihyun
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Let Me Help You

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first time posting on AO3 so I don't quite know how tagging and everything works but I'm excited! I wrote this a while back but I still really like it. I wrote this with a different ending in mind, I wasn't entirely sure but I settled for something like V's good ending when he leaves but in this, V is still broken and hasn't recovered. I might need to write a prequel, I apologise if it's confusing. But I hope you enjoy it! :)
> 
> Also, I would listen to Jumin's theme while reading this.

_I wonder where he is right now…_ Jumin thought as he eyed the half-empty wine bottle on his coffee table and the similarly half-empty glass next to it. Elizabeth the 3rd was nowhere to be seen and it was too late for him to bother Jaehee for some sort of familiar company. Completely alone and quite drunk, Jumin sunk further into the soft, black leather sofa beneath him and he closed his eyes, the white light of his million-dollar penthouse was getting too much for him and his tired eyes. 

Previously, all his thoughts were filled with business, Elizabeth the 3rd, and all the things that seemed normal for him—all the things people would expect him to think about. After all, he has been conditioned to act the way he is supposed to since he was a small child. The thought made the businessman reach impulsively to his half-empty wine glass, swigging the expensive wine and feeling the sweet, bitter liquid fill his mouth. _He likes red wine too_ , he thought. Now all his thoughts were filled with windswept turquoise hair, the click of a camera and the sound of soft laughter—the kind of soft laughter that wasn’t genuine though. It was the kind someone gives when they hide their pain from everyone else. The man has had that laughter his whole life, I was there to see it… but never smart enough to _fully_ see it, thought Jumin, his trembling hands poured more red wine into his glass. 

He cursed under his breath, wishing he could be the emotionless businessman he always tries to be. No emotions at all would be better than this wall of guilt, nostalgia, and _longing_. 

Longing, yearning, craving. Jumin places his wine glass down on the table and runs a hand through his black hair in frustration. _What is this?_ He questioned as if his brain could come up with an answer. _Emotions left unchecked,_ he replied in his thoughts but he shook his head, getting more and more agitated with the unsettling feeling in his stomach. He was right, but he knew there was something deeper, something too deep that even he wasn’t capable of understanding. 

No way would he accept that he was incapable of understanding something. He was Jumin Han, an intelligent businessman with a lot more knowledge than the average person. 

_“Jumin… knowledge without emotions is meaningless. You have to feel something in this world to understand people.”_

Jumin’s eyes began to sting. _To understand people…_ he repeated the words of his friend in his head, over and over again. _Would that help him understand himself?_ He was feeling something. This something, however, remains a mystery to him. A ragged sigh escaped his lips and his head fell back onto the soft leather sofa behind him. Jumin ran his hands through his hair again, pressing his fingers into his temples and closing his eyes. Another long sigh escaped his lips. His lips… that he would love to place on _his._

His eyes shot open. _This had to stop. These thoughts had to stop. These… feelings had to stop._

“What the hell?” he mumbled in frustration, reaching for his wine glass and taking another swig. A million questions were flooding his mind and for once in his life, Jumin admitted he was helpless. His eyes began to sting again as he tried to figure out what he was feeling. _It isn’t what I think it is… is it?_ He questioned. _I love Jihyun as a friend…_ He said internally. _Friends don't want to kiss the other, friends don’t want to feel the other’s hands on every inch of their body, friends don’t feel the longing and yearning that I feel now. Friends don’t feel any of this._ A single tear trickles down Jumin’s cheek and he closes his eyes instinctively. Logic was failing him, his knowledge was failing him, his brain that he took so much pride in meant nothing now. 

The sound of the door to his penthouse opening made Jumin turn around in shock. He breathed heavily, the alcohol making his thoughts disjointed and negative. Worst-case scenarios popped into his head, the wine and the sadness in him made him paranoid and anxious yet he was too exhausted to do anything. Where are the security guards when I need them? He asked himself, sinking his face into the soft leather of his sofa. He truly was alone. 

“Jumin?” a familiar voice called out to him. He pulled his flushed face away from the sofa and his tired eyes looked up, his breath hitched and was taken away from him. He couldn’t breathe at the sight of the man in front of him. The man that has been with him through everything, every hardship in his life, except the hardship of losing that said man. He’d been gone for months. Jumin had lost count of how long it’s been. It felt like years to him. 

“Are you okay?” the turquoise-haired male asked, walking towards him with worry written on his face as his slender hands grip his dark sunglasses that he was holding. _Always worried for other people… never yourself,_ Jumin thought as his tired eyes fixated on the man in front of him, taking in every feature that he memorised after spending so many years together. He groans in response. 

“Jihyun…” he responded wearily. Jihyun comes up behind him, the black leather sofa separating the two, and Jihyun’s eyes dart around in worry. “What are you doing here?” he asked him. Jihyun sighs and walks over to sit next to his childhood friend. Jumin was still sprawled across the sofa, his hair messy from how much he pulled at it and his dress shirt was half unbuttoned and crinkly. Nothing about him looked composed, that’s what worried Jihyun. Jumin was _never_ like this. 

“I…” Jihyun started as he fidgeted with his sunglasses in his hands. _How do you explain something like this?_ The man had been gone for months—nearly a year, giving no one any information about where he was, who he was with or how he was feeling. The Mint Eye incident happened and was gone in a few weeks. The RFA members were in shock but that shock and the aftermath of it was gone soon enough. Jihyun vanished and everyone was worried… but that worry vanished as well, gradually, like everything else. Jumin bit his lip at the thought. His worry had been eating at him inside and tearing him apart while everyone else was trying hard to heal the old wounds of Jihyun’s lies that caused so much destruction. Jumin’s chest heaved in anger, prompting Jihyun to furrow his eyebrows in confusion. 

_He just wanted to protect us…_ Jumin thought as his eyes began to sting again, the unfamiliar feeling of tears filled his eyes and he blinked them away instinctively. Tears were always discouraged. 

“Are you okay, Jumin?” asked Jihyun, placing a hand on Jumin’s shoulder that was centimetres away from his knee, Jumin’s face was even closer, almost on his lap and his dark eyes looked up to Jihyun's pale ones. “Your security guards let me in,” he explained with a small smile. With everything that happened and with all the time that has passed, the sight of his friend soothed and comforted him… but the positive feeling made him feel even more guilty than before. _I don’t deserve to be comforted after all I’ve done_ , he thought as he bit his lip. 

“Where were you all this time?” Jumin questioned with his eyes closed. Jihyun gulped in response, not wanting to answer the question, not wanting to talk about any of the things that happened. _I was naive and selfish to think I could just come back and live like normal again…_ the photographer thought with a frown on his face, making Jumin to question once again. “Why were you gone for so long?” he asked. 

“Jumin… I needed time,” he started to explain but there was nothing that could explain the guilt he feels about Rika, about Mint Eye, about his disappearance and about all the lies that he told. “I think I’ve recovered now, Jumin. I don’t know if that’s good or not. Maybe I should be punished for what I’ve done but…” the man paused, causing Jumin to look up at him, still with tears in his eyes. Tears brewed in Jihyun’s eyes too. Both men repressed them, closing their eyes to hide their tears. _Always thinking the worst of himself…_ Jumin thought with a disappointed frown.

“I wanted to see you first,” Jihyun admits, his turquoise eyes averted from the questioning ones of his childhood friend’s. He couldn’t see well but he knew his eyes were on him, the blurry sight of Jumin’s questioning stare scared him. _Did he miss me too?_ Jumin asked himself but immediately stopped himself. _Jihyun missed his friend. His friend, nothing more than that._

“Say something… please.” Jihyun’s breath hitched as he begged his friend to respond, to utter a single word, _anything_ . But Jumin kept quiet. There were too many emotions in the room right now, too many Jumin couldn’t handle. Jihyun was always better with emotions but tears streamed down his face. Jumin looked intently as the tears stained his perfect pale skin. _If Jihyun can’t handle the emotions right now, how could he?_

Jumin springs upright, sitting next to his friend but slightly opposite him as the sofa was an L shape, perfect shape for the two of their knees to be touching. Jumin reaches over, sees the confusion in his friend’s eyes but he didn’t care, he gently brushed Jihyun’s soft but damp skin and wipes away his tears. It took all of Jumin’s self-control not to lightly press his lips against Jihyun’s to comfort him. _How he missed him…_ Jihyun would never know. The tears were slightly gone now but it didn’t stop Jumin from brushing his fingers against Jihyun’s jaw that was ever so slightly open in confusion. 

“I missed you,” Jumin said, moving closer to Jihyun who edged away, sinking into the sofa’s soft leather. 

Jihyun chuckled softly. “You’re really drunk, aren’t you?” he asked Jumin with a smile that made him feel as if he was melting with passion. Jumin begged to differ. He had never felt so aware of his emotions in his life. He was drunk, but that wasn’t stopping him from thinking clearly… Jihyun’s presence and his love for him did. 

“I’m not.” Jihyun’s eyes flickered in response. Jumin was acting weirdly, not like himself. But Jihyun shrugged it off. He had no right to say whether he was acting like himself or not, he was gone for so long that he no longer knew if the Jumin he knew and the Jumin sitting in front of him was the same person. _Pain changes a person, and I gave Jumin that pain… I’m responsible,_ Jihyun thought as he grimaces at the guilt settling within him again. 

“Did you miss me too?” Jumin asked, gently putting his hands on Jihyun’s shoulder. Jihyun blinked, trying to understand what on earth was wrong with his childhood friend. 

“How much wine did you drink?” Jihyun questioned with a slightly nervous chuckle. Jumin frowned and his eyes met the floor at his friend’s remark. Jihyun’s shoulders sink, disappointed with his own response. Affection was something neither of them knew. _But Jumin seems to have grown and improved, while I am stuck in the past—stalled, stagnant and static,_ the turquoise-haired male thought as he looked at the window opposite the sofa he was sitting on. The curtains were closed, otherwise, Jihyun could see every intricate part of the city and the skyline lit up by the city lights, a sight he always adored when he visited. 

“I missed you, I really did.” Jumin perked up at his friend’s words, his eyes travelling to Jihyun’s face which was slightly covered by his hair. Jumin longed to brush the hair out of his eyes but he restrained himself. “I’m sorry,” Jihyun continued, stiff and nervous. “I’m sorry for everything… I… should’ve done better.” Jumin inhaled sharply and immediately pushed Jihyun further into the sofa, both of Jumin’s hands gripped his shoulders and his knees placed next to Jihyun’s—completely on top of him. 

He almost wanted to smile at the surprise on Jihyun’s face, the wide eyes and slightly open mouth were too funny to him, but he had more important things to take care of—proving to Jihyun, who insisted he was the antagonist in everything and that everything was his fault, that he did his best… that he should stop viewing himself that way. Jihyun’s eyes darted around the room at a fast pace, looking everywhere but at his friend on top of him. Jumin gulped, _maybe this was too much?_

“You did your best,” Jumin starts and Jihyun’s eyes drift slowly to Jumin’s direction. Jumin noticed the lack of eye contact and continued. “I’m glad you’re back.” Jihyun gulps at the sentence, tears forming in his eyes. Jumin knew very well that Jihyun was thinking the complete opposite, that he was a burden. _How do I make him see it my way?_ He thought. “You’re not a burden. I know what you’re thinking, Jihyun.” His eyes got closer and Jumin’s heart pounded faster. “It’s in the past now. I wanted you back… here,” Jumin said brushing his hands down Jihyun’s arms. 

Jihyun chuckled and turned his head away from his friend who was still looming over him. “You’re too kind to me…” he said softly, smiling but Jumin knew better than to just look at his smile. He was uncomfortable and felt guilty, Jumin knew that very well. After all… affection was foreign to him also. Jumin frowned and sighed, prompting Jihyun to turn his head towards him slightly. Jumin had to remind himself that this was a man who not only didn’t receive affection as a child, like him, but has received the wrong type throughout his whole life. The thought of Rika made his blood boil and his love for his childhood friend grow even more. If Jihyun felt guilt, Jumin felt it too… _He didn’t see the signs, no one did. No one helped him when he needed it the most._

“You said you recovered…” Jumin starts and Jihyun turns his head more towards him, his eyes elsewhere. “I don’t think you have.” Jihyun chokes on his tears in response and Jumin couldn’t help but smile. _I knew it_ , he thought. _He knows too… but that's fine, it's more than fine. It’s the first step to recovery,_ Jumin thought as his mind went back to one of many books he read to educate himself on how best to help him. Jihyun’s tears were streaming down his face now and Jumin wipes them away again. “I can help you,” Jumin says, prompting Jihyun’s breath to hitch and sobs to escape his lips. Tears were dripping onto the leather of the sofa and the sound of Jihyun’s desolate sobs filled the penthouse.

_There is no helping a person like me_ , Jihyun thought as the pain and guilt enveloped him whole. “You have to be willing to recover, Jihyun!” Jumin said forcefully, gripping his shoulders tighter to emphasise his words. Jihyun knew it all too well, he should’ve said the exact same words to Rika. But what did he do? He enabled her, lied to his friends and caused nothing but pain and grief to everyone in the RFA. _There was no recovery for him in his eyes._

Jumin sighed and let himself fall on top of his friend, causing Jihyun’s eyes to widen. “Do it for me,” he whispers in his ear. “The others might not care anymore but I do.” Every word he said made Jihyun cry even more. _Pathetic_ , he thought as he cried. “Let me help you, like you did with me,” Jumin said, entangling his hands in his friend’s turquoise hair. 

Jihyun didn’t understand what he meant by that. _I always want to help people but… I did nothing for Jumin but give him pain. I gave everyone pain,_ he thought. Jumin sighed and rolled his eyes, knowing exactly what Jihyun was thinking. “Let me help you like you did with everyone else. _Please,”_ he begged. After a few seconds, Jihyun nuzzled his head against Jumin’s, causing the dark-haired male to blush slightly in surprise. 

“I appreciate it,” Jihyun said softly, knowing in his heart that Jumin would give up after he realises the same thing he did: _there is no helping someone like him._ Jumin sat up and Jihyun followed only for Jumin to push his friend onto the sofa again, this time sitting up. Jumin placed a hand on Jihyun’s waist, causing him to open his mouth in confusion. His hands brushed upwards, the gentle touch that Jihyun could feel through his thin dress shirt made him shiver. 

“I’ll show you how much I appreciate _you_ ,” Jumin whispered in Jihyun’s ear. Jihyun breathed heavily and his mind whirled with questions. _He’s drunk, so very drunk… don’t take it seriously._ Jumin lightly grabbed Jihyun’s waist and pulled him a little closer and Jihyun whimpered in response. 

“I… don’t want to ruin this,” Jumin explained, whispering in his ear as he feels Jihyun’s abs through his shirt, frowning as he reached his ribs that were far too noticeable. Worry filled him up and he bit his lip in response. “But I missed you so much.” _All Jumin wanted was a hug, a kiss, to finally be close to him._ Jihyun took Jumin by the shoulders and away from his ear. 

“What are you talking about?!” He questioned loudly with tears in his eyes. Jumin reached to wipe them away again and Jihyun flinched. The act broke Jumin’s heart slightly and he frowned. “I’m so confused, Jumin. What the hell are you talking about?!” He exclaimed loudly. Jumin sighed. Jihyun had snapped. 

“I love you,” he said simply, surprised at how easy it was to say it. The words rolled off his tongue and felt so natural with Jihyun staring back at him. The businessman could say it a million times more if he needed to. The words came easily but his heart was pounding and he could hear it in his ears as he breathed little breaths, he noticed his hands were trembling slightly as he reached to hold Jihyun's hands, also trembling. Jihyun stared at him with wide eyes and an open mouth, Jumin could see that it wasn't just his hands that were trembling but his entire body. He wondered what Jihyun could see. _Was Jumin just a blob confessing to him or could he see the sincerity and affection in his eyes?_

Jihyun couldn’t help but sob. Jumin let him, thinking that he needed time to process the information he just dropped onto him. Jihyun and love had a strange relationship right now, he knew and was willing to give as much time as he needed—despite him being barely able to contain himself at the thought that Jihyun was here, with him… actually here, not in his dreams, not in his daydreams but here with him. Being here meant that he could help in any way. And he was prepared to. 

He would do anything for Jihyun. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hello again! Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Vumin is definitely one of my favourite ships as I relate to both of them a lot, they're both two of my favourite characters ever and I think their friendship throughout the game is so heartwarming. 
> 
> Anyway, thanks again for reading. Please do give me some feedback, I’d really appreciate it! I'm not sure if I should continue this so do let me know if you want another chapter as well :)


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